Today is our son’s first day of Kindergarten and I am sitting here crying like a baby.

I’m doing it for all the typical reasons;

• He’s growing so fast
• His first experience of school
• He was nervous (and so am I)

But one of the biggest reasons I’m sitting here is because my husband isn’t.  He should be here.  He is missing out on these big occasions.

No, he is not dead. No, he is not in the military.

He has something else that keeps him away…the pipeline.

Have you heard of it? Probably just the protests, right? A topic for another time.

In case you have not heard of it…our country is full of pipelines that run under and above the ground. They crisscross our nation like the veins in our body, providing a supply of liquid and gas that our country depends on.

They help transport liquid petroleum and natural gas to help create products we use EVERY DAY like our cell phones, TVs, fuel for our cars, heat to our homes, etc.   You can read about pipelines here.

Another story, another time.

Let’s get back to our story…

The kids and I decided to come back about a week before so I had time to get the school supplies from the list, figure out timing (for driving), plan out lunches (I’m failing here) and overall scheduling.

We also wanted to give our son a bit of time to adjust back home before entering a new situation.  To have time to run around and enjoy summer at the big house.  To get used to sleeping in a new bed and place.

It is such an exciting time and yet so hard on our family.

For an undetermined amount of time we will be apart from my husband, their daddy.  He is staying back to work, to provide for our family. Unless he gets laid off soon, we most likely won’t see him until around Thanksgiving break.  He is about 8 hours away and that is just too hard on two littles for a weekend trip.

This is a job that we chose before we had children.  My husband has worked so hard to get where he is and has become damn good at what he does. As a family we support him!  We know it will be hard and the visits will not come often enough but it is a short-term game at this point.

Although, this was a choice we made, it doesn’t make it any easier.

The kids and I get to be back in our home.  Making new friends and enjoying our new town.  We get to check out our festivals, sports and whatever else we can find.  We have all these things to keep us busy along with navigating school and all the things that come along with daily life.

While it can be fun doing these things, it is also bittersweet.

It’s hard for me to not think about the fact that he will miss out on different activities or the excitement of making a new friend.  He will miss out on the bedtime routine, the homework and even simple things like pickup and drop-off.

He doesn’t get to hold our sons hand at the dentist when he is scared.

He doesn’t get to wipe our daughters tears away when she gets hurt.

But he wants to.

He doesn’t get to teach them how to ride bikes.

He doesn’t get to snuggle with them every night.

But he wants to.

I often don’t send him as many pictures when we are apart.  Not because I don’t think that he should see them.  I worry about how it will affect him.  I don’t want him to miss them more than he already does but I don’t want him to miss out either.

We know there are options.

Trust me when I say that we have talked about a lot of them.  Our minds have changed several times already.  We know there are options for schooling.  Homeschooling or to just change schools whenever we moved is an option.

I know many families that are doing these things successfully and it works for them.  But each of us is different.  We feel this is what are family needs right now.

We also know there is always a way to make something work.  So, for now we are finding ways to make being apart work for our family. Technology certainly helps.  FaceTime is often used as signal allows.

Our family talks daily, even if it is only for a few minutes.  We keep the kids informed on what is happening and encourage them to be engaged in the conversation.

Please don’t mistake this post as looking for sympathy.

We know this is the path that we have chosen.  We have a plan and right now, this separation, this difficult situation is a part of that plan.

This post is more for those that are also experiencing this same situation.  I just want you to know that you are not alone.  There are others going through separation just like you.

It may not be for the same reasons but they know the heartache you feel.  The questions you have unanswered.  They have family and friends that just don’t understand.

There are others that loved this lifestyle but now want it to change so desperately.  Some are trapped financially and trying to figure a way out.  Others just love this work and are not ready to walk away from it.

Whatever the situation, there are others out there that are negotiating similar situations.  Trying to do the best for their family.

This post is for you. I hope you know that there are others out there, experiencing similar situations with our travel lifestyle. You are not alone.

Ways to help ease the separation…

• FaceTime, Skype, Zoom are great tools to have so that you can have a sense of connection.  They help by providing you with video calls.  You get to see each other while you chat.  We do this daily as long as he has a decent signal.
• Talk.  I’m mean really talk.  Separation makes things seem worse than they are sometimes.  You need to be able to share what you are feeling so things don’t get mixed up or lost in translation.
• Put yourself in their “shoes”.  Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.  Both parties are struggling with different things when separated.  My husband is so good at this, I need to do better.  It’s easy to get wrapped up in whatever we are dealing with that we don’t always stop to see what they are going through also.
• Make time for visits as often as possible.  Obviously this varies on distance and schedules but if you can make something work, DO IT!
• Find support.  Talk to people that can relate or are at least willing to listen.  If you need help finding places for support, check out my post about some resources here.
• If you don’t like the situation, make a plan to change it!

If you can relate and want to share, I would love to hear from you!  Drop a comment below!

As always, thanks for reading!

–Kate

That’s why I wanted to share my 7 unique gift ideas for the “hard to buy for” father on Father’s Day!

This category of men tend to

buy what they want, when they want it and

respond with, “I don’t need anything” when asked for ideas

This is great for every ordinary day but so frustrating for special occasions!

I grew up in a gift giving family so it feels so strange not to give something on a special occasion.  I find myself scrambling last minute to get something together.

So, what do you get the guy that can get himself anything?  Keep reading to see my 7 unique gift ideas for the “hard to buy for” father

Experiences

Being that we travel often and usually have limited space for storing stuff, a great gift idea would be an experience.  I’m thinking like race car driving, wine/beer tasting, or an evening out to a concert or comedy club in the closest area that offers such an event.  Groupon is a great resource for finding ideas like this.

I know most only get Saturday evening free and time to rest on Sunday so try to plan it around those days.  If that is not a possibility look at something in the future, hopefully during a layoff.  Of course, check to see if there is a refund policy and/or a date exchange in case something comes up and he cannot attend.

Something pipeline related

Have something pipeline related or job related made just for him.

There are a ton of shops selling items online that can create something unique.

I love shopping in the FB groups as well as on Etsy to find things like T-shirts, wallets, mugs, wall hangings, etc.  Check out Home Businesses of the Pipeline on FB or ask in one of the groups to see if someone makes something you are looking for as a gift.

Sentimental

Sentimental gifts like a nice card, a love letter, a back rub or helping to create a gift with the kiddos are always a nice gift.  These gifts generally show more expression of your love because of the time and/or effort it took to put together.

Unique on Etsy, Uncommon Goods

I like to try to find unique gifts to give.  Some of my favorites are found on Etsy, Uncommon Goods or Amazon.

One of my favorite gifts (his too) was a big photo of our first dog together that was made up of smaller pictures of us.  I had it matted and framed.  He was so surprised and it turned out great!!

Kid’s gifts

Skip something from you and head right to the motherland of gift giving ideas, Pinterest!

Pinterest is my best friend when it comes to finding crafty ideas for celebrations like Father’s Day! I usually have my kids make a card or something on canvas to give to the man who can get anything for himself.

Nothing says “we love you Daddy” like a few handprints and some sweet words from the kids.

If you have older kids, another option might be to have them fill out something sentimental like this book you can find on Amazon.

A trip

Taking a trip is always a nice gift too!  I know we travel a lot but going somewhere because you want to is way different than going because your job tells you to.  Find something close by for a Saturday night away or again, plan something for in the future.

Sometimes just a night in a hotel can be relaxing!  With kids, we usually opt for a nice place with a pool.

If you need more tips or ideas for finding things to do near you, check out my post here.

Donate or Save

If gifting really isn’t your or his thing why not donate the money you would have spent.  You can choose a charity that is close to his heart or has some meaning to either of you.  Another option is to donate to yourself!  Put it in your savings account, vacation fund or pay on a bill!!

Whether you choose from the 7 unique gift ideas for the “hard to buy for” father or come up with something completely different, the idea of the day is to show your love and appreciation.  Enjoy your time together and try not to sweat the gift giving.

As always, thanks for reading!

–Katie