Loneliness; Fighting through it while traveling

 

 

 

Do you struggle with loneliness while traveling?  Even if you are not traveling alone it can still affect you.

Loneliness isn’t just an issue for those of us traveling but it is definitely a common feeling among us. Once the excitement of a new place has worn off and we start working on our schedules, it can start to feel a little mundane.

These are the moments that we would generally lean in on our family and friends.  Ask someone to go out for lunch or a drink.  Come over for a movie or talk in general. 

Unfortunately, when we are traveling those people are not generally available.  A phone call may work for a bit but sometimes you just need someone to physically be near you.

I know I do!  Don’t even need to have conversation with them (introvert here), I just need them near.  

 

 

My experience

For the first few years I relied heavily on my husband and on phone calls home.  This wasn’t fair to those people or myself.  I would find myself so frustrated when my husband worked late or stopped with the guys on the way home without me.  

I recall a particular moment within the first year of traveling.  My boyfriend (we weren’t married yet) went out with the guys before coming home.  He didn’t call initially so I got worried about where he was.  Once he did call, I was already worked up and upset.  We got in an argument on the phone which in turn, he stayed longer.  By the time he came home I was curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out.  I felt so alone.  

What was strange for me in that moment is that this wasn’t the first time I had traveled somewhere new and didn’t know anyone.  I had done it for almost 7 years prior to meeting him.  

 

Why is this so different?

What was different is that I was staying home all day by myself and expecting to socialize with him when he got home.  I had been doing that all week and by the end I was just plain lonely.

The same for my family, if someone didn’t answer the phone (usually because they were working) I would get so down.  Thoughts came to me like, “They don’t want to talk to me” or “They don’t have time for me”.  I was in the middle of depression and didn’t even realize it.  

I stopped calling people for a while, I just couldn’t handle the “rejection” of an unanswered phone. This lasted for a few weeks, the sadness, crying, laziness and just being a recluse in general.  It wasn’t until I had a conversation with a family member, that I realized I was depressed.  This person helped me understand what it was and offered suggestions to try to bring myself out of it.  

Whew, that got a little dark but I have to tell you that it is not always rainbows and unicorns traveling like this.  There are definitely plenty of amazing, beautiful, “I can’t believe we are living this life!” type moments but there can be just as many like what I mentioned above. Be aware of how you are feeling and know that there are ways you can change it with help!

 

 

These are a few things that I tried….

I asked the campground if they needed help.  They did! They hired me to work in the office a few hours during the week and Sunday mornings.  In exchange, we got my hours knocked off of our rent.  I watered the plants, organized/cleaned the small store and also assisted with reservations and parking.  This helped because I had to get myself together each morning to take care of the plants.  I also got to talk to other people and help them get situated for their stay.

I started looking for activities to keep me occupied during the off days.  There was a big city nearby that I checked out.  Shopping can be a good outlet with a budget in mind.  I became a “tour guide” for visitors (my brother in law’s girlfriend, a friend and some family).  

I started my phone calls again including a more regular call to the family member that helped me.  When I made calls I was more conscious of what time.  This way I could have a better chance of them actually being able to answer.  If someone wasn’t available then I took my dog for a walk to clear my mind.

 

Other options that I was not aware of at the time or are now available…

Pipeline groups on FB

There are a ton!  Find one or two that you feel you have a connection with.  Ask if anyone is near where you are and have a meetup!  There is also a Pipeline Ladies Lunching group where groups of ladies in different locations get together once a week to have lunch and socialize.  This is such a great resource!  I wish I had known about it sooner but did not until about 2015.  These groups have helped me meet quite a few ladies on different jobs that have been so supportive while we were together but also continue as we move to different places.

 

Company sponsored events

This is generally more common in the warmer months or around a holiday.  Some companies will put together a cook out or potluck.  We had a company this past year put on a trunk or treat for our families so we had a safe place to go.

 

Volunteer/community work

Find something you enjoy and volunteer in the local community.  This 

gives you a great avenue to meet some local people and give back.

 

Join a gym/YMCA

Exercise can do wonders for your mental health!  Join a local gym to improve or maintain your health.  Try a new class out and meet some new people!!

 

 

Find a job

Boredom is definitely hard to deal with and if you end up using shopping all the time as a coping mechanism then it could cause financial issues as well.  Finding a job can help break up boredom, give you extra money and might introduce you to a new friend.  Look for something that you would enjoy and maybe something different than what you are used to.  Don’t torture yourself and get something you dread going to each day.

 

 

We are social people by nature whether we are an extrovert or an introvert.  We crave being around others.  Don’t lock yourself away in your home on wheels when there is so much to see and do!

IF you are struggling with depression, reach out.  Talk to family, friends or a professional.  I’m here too!!

Here are a few links;

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.orgor 1-800-273-8255

https://www.crisistextline.org/depressionor text CONNECT to 741741

 

As always, thanks for reading!

–Katie