Today is our son’s first day of Kindergarten and I am sitting here crying like a baby.

I’m doing it for all the typical reasons;

• He’s growing so fast
• His first experience of school
• He was nervous (and so am I)

But one of the biggest reasons I’m sitting here is because my husband isn’t.  He should be here.  He is missing out on these big occasions.

No, he is not dead. No, he is not in the military.

He has something else that keeps him away…the pipeline.

Have you heard of it? Probably just the protests, right? A topic for another time.

In case you have not heard of it…our country is full of pipelines that run under and above the ground. They crisscross our nation like the veins in our body, providing a supply of liquid and gas that our country depends on.

They help transport liquid petroleum and natural gas to help create products we use EVERY DAY like our cell phones, TVs, fuel for our cars, heat to our homes, etc.   You can read about pipelines here.

Another story, another time.

Let’s get back to our story…

The kids and I decided to come back about a week before so I had time to get the school supplies from the list, figure out timing (for driving), plan out lunches (I’m failing here) and overall scheduling.

We also wanted to give our son a bit of time to adjust back home before entering a new situation.  To have time to run around and enjoy summer at the big house.  To get used to sleeping in a new bed and place.

It is such an exciting time and yet so hard on our family.

For an undetermined amount of time we will be apart from my husband, their daddy.  He is staying back to work, to provide for our family. Unless he gets laid off soon, we most likely won’t see him until around Thanksgiving break.  He is about 8 hours away and that is just too hard on two littles for a weekend trip.

This is a job that we chose before we had children.  My husband has worked so hard to get where he is and has become damn good at what he does. As a family we support him!  We know it will be hard and the visits will not come often enough but it is a short-term game at this point.

Although, this was a choice we made, it doesn’t make it any easier.

The kids and I get to be back in our home.  Making new friends and enjoying our new town.  We get to check out our festivals, sports and whatever else we can find.  We have all these things to keep us busy along with navigating school and all the things that come along with daily life.

While it can be fun doing these things, it is also bittersweet.

It’s hard for me to not think about the fact that he will miss out on different activities or the excitement of making a new friend.  He will miss out on the bedtime routine, the homework and even simple things like pickup and drop-off.

He doesn’t get to hold our sons hand at the dentist when he is scared.

He doesn’t get to wipe our daughters tears away when she gets hurt.

But he wants to.

He doesn’t get to teach them how to ride bikes.

He doesn’t get to snuggle with them every night.

But he wants to.

I often don’t send him as many pictures when we are apart.  Not because I don’t think that he should see them.  I worry about how it will affect him.  I don’t want him to miss them more than he already does but I don’t want him to miss out either.

We know there are options.

Trust me when I say that we have talked about a lot of them.  Our minds have changed several times already.  We know there are options for schooling.  Homeschooling or to just change schools whenever we moved is an option.

I know many families that are doing these things successfully and it works for them.  But each of us is different.  We feel this is what are family needs right now.

We also know there is always a way to make something work.  So, for now we are finding ways to make being apart work for our family. Technology certainly helps.  FaceTime is often used as signal allows.

Our family talks daily, even if it is only for a few minutes.  We keep the kids informed on what is happening and encourage them to be engaged in the conversation.

Please don’t mistake this post as looking for sympathy.

We know this is the path that we have chosen.  We have a plan and right now, this separation, this difficult situation is a part of that plan.

This post is more for those that are also experiencing this same situation.  I just want you to know that you are not alone.  There are others going through separation just like you.

It may not be for the same reasons but they know the heartache you feel.  The questions you have unanswered.  They have family and friends that just don’t understand.

There are others that loved this lifestyle but now want it to change so desperately.  Some are trapped financially and trying to figure a way out.  Others just love this work and are not ready to walk away from it.

Whatever the situation, there are others out there that are negotiating similar situations.  Trying to do the best for their family.

This post is for you. I hope you know that there are others out there, experiencing similar situations with our travel lifestyle. You are not alone.

Ways to help ease the separation…

• FaceTime, Skype, Zoom are great tools to have so that you can have a sense of connection.  They help by providing you with video calls.  You get to see each other while you chat.  We do this daily as long as he has a decent signal.
• Talk.  I’m mean really talk.  Separation makes things seem worse than they are sometimes.  You need to be able to share what you are feeling so things don’t get mixed up or lost in translation.
• Put yourself in their “shoes”.  Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.  Both parties are struggling with different things when separated.  My husband is so good at this, I need to do better.  It’s easy to get wrapped up in whatever we are dealing with that we don’t always stop to see what they are going through also.
• Make time for visits as often as possible.  Obviously this varies on distance and schedules but if you can make something work, DO IT!
• Find support.  Talk to people that can relate or are at least willing to listen.  If you need help finding places for support, check out my post about some resources here.
• If you don’t like the situation, make a plan to change it!

If you can relate and want to share, I would love to hear from you!  Drop a comment below!

As always, thanks for reading!

–Kate

SO where do you start?

Most likely you don’t know anyone (yet) and are still getting used to navigating the area.

GOOGLE SEARCH

My go to start position is Google search or whatever search engine you use.  Type in a hobby that you are interested in and the location.  Or look for local parks, churches, community centers, whatever you may have an interest in and want to explore.

That search can send you down a rabbit hole quickly if you let it so try to focus on what you want out of your activity.

Do you want to create something?  Do you want to see something new?  Do you want a chance to meet new people?

FB EVENTS

My next tool is FB events and local groups.  FB and the internet in general can be helpful for finding new experience while traveling across the country!  Just follow these simple steps

• Click on the events section off to the left of your main page.
• Search your local area and a time frame…this week, next week or certain dates.

I’ve been able to find a lot of fun, local events that I did not find using my search engine.  These were anywhere from a charity run to a crafting class or local tasting of food or drink.

When I first started traveling, we didn’t have kids so most of my activities revolved around shopping or hiking.  I was more of an introvert than I am these days so I was ok with solo activities while my husband was working.  (Just make sure you let someone know where you are going and when you will be back.)

I just NEEDED to get out of the trailer!!

We were lucky enough to be near some great hiking and scenic places so I would take our pups with me and go for a hike that usually ended in me carrying our dog, Piglet.  He had lots of energy but just a little guy so he didn’t hang for long. Pig in a pocket pic included for cuteness!

I also found myself doing quite a bit of shopping in certain locations which wasn’t exactly good for the pocketbook!  I had to refocus my activity choices and find something else besides shopping.  Which takes us to my next suggestion…

GET A JOB

The first time I got a job while traveling (outside of helping at a campground), we were just outside of Washington D.C.  We were living in a house FULL of people but I needed some space and new faces.  One of our roommates started at a local tanning salon.  She mentioned that they were still looking for help so I went for it.

Not exactly what I was looking for but I am so glad that I took a chance!  Everyone there was so nice!  I got great work experience, training and so much more.  I ended up making two friends from there who helped me out a ton with our pup, filling in for my lack of friends and just being very supportive.

OPTIONS WITH KIDS 

Now, we have our two littles so I try finding new experiences while traveling that they would enjoy.  Below are my top choices;

• Zoos
• Craft classes
• Gymnastics/dance classes
• Local mall with a children’s area or bounce house
• Mom groups can be found on FB

Really, anything to get them out of the trailer as well as burn off some energy!  Trust me, you NEED this for your sanity!!

COMMUNITY BOARDS

In the more remote locations, I often would be willing to drive a bit further for an activity but there may be other options such as a local church, community group, boards in the grocery store or post office.

I admit, I have not used this resource much.  I have been successful with the previous options and just haven’t had to use this one. Most will have a community board with things going on around town and if they do not, they usually have people who will be willing to help you find something or someone.

EXERCISE

There might not always be things close to where you are staying, in those instances, start with a daily walk.

It is amazing what just getting outside can do for your mental health!!  Ah, the power of sunshine and fresh air!

Plus, it gives you exposure to other people, who may be able to suggest new experiences or new places!!  In these more isolated places try to resist the urge to always curl up and binge TV/surf the internet.  Those days can be just as rewarding but only on an occasional basis.

Speaking of exercise, places that offer exercise options are a great resource.  Not only do you get to move but you have the chance to meet others. Some places, like most YMCAs, offer a child care option too while you are taking your class.

FACEBOOK GROUPS

Don’t miss out on this great resource…pipeline groups found on Facebook.  Here you can connect with other traveling ladies in your area and continue to stay in touch with them!

There are a ton of groups out there so you just have to find the one that works for you.  Just use the search tab on FB and type in “pipeline” or “pipeline wives”.  That should get you started with several options.

In addition to those groups be sure to join Pipeline Ladies Lunching.  This group organizes lunch gatherings all over.  Again, just search for your current location or post and ask if anyone is around you.  I wish I had known about this group from the beginning!  It’s so nice to have a standing meeting once a week and plan trips, shopping or just another get together.

If you don’t see something in your area, you can always start something!  Post in the groups that already exist and ask for people to join you on an outing.  Or you can create your own group if you are not finding what you are looking for in your area.

The point is that you don’t have to be so isolated.  There are millions of people on this earth and many have the same interests, problems and desires as you do!  If you need help on finding people to connect with while traveling check out my post here

As always, thanks for reading!

–Katie